posted by Paul
12.02.10 @ 5:55 PM
Yeah, it’s a video game comic. If you don’t play Halo: Reach, here’s the skinny: You unlock armor modifications as you rank up. These do nothing but display just how lonely you really are. Since the new maps came out, Carter and I jumped back into the fray, only to find more ridiculous looking dudes running around than the last time we got online to destroy hopes and dreams. Here’s a tip on how to put your dude together, straight from the guy who wants you to look as dumb as possible: Equip the biggest shoulder pads that you can find. VW Bugs? ATTACH THEM SHITS TO YOUR HAIRY-ASS SHOULDERS. Now you’re ready to fight, asshole!
Also, if you couldn’t care less about that bullshit I just put together, I made another comic just for you. A little bit of old school gremlins, comin’ at you.
By The Numbers
You are the reoccurring kind, you never really leave my mind.
December 3rd, 2010 at 7:42 am
I'll never give you shit about game-related comics, because you're spot-on with the commentary. "Mythic" made me chuckle. The helmet did it for me. It's always the damn helmet, isn't it? I suspect that if your Mythic helmet was actually an option, there would be folks willing to rape their fathers in order to secure it. Add a flame effect to it and you've got some Daddy-DP going on, for reals.
Reach lost its luster for me pretty quickly. I could jump back in, but only if it was played with friends in tow. I didn't understand the unlockable armor thingys. If they don't do anything, why invest in them? My only goal is/was to earn enough credits to unlock that damn confetti armor effect. I figure I die so much that I might as well reward everyone using me to pad their stats…and to make me smile.
Old school gremlins. I like it.
December 3rd, 2010 at 4:27 pm
I would rock that helmet, were it real, and the princess-in-a-tower chest armor. If people live inside parts of you, you're either Carter's mom or a bad-ass.
Reach is still good. I find myself putting down Black Ops in favor of it, actually. Here's why: You can always jump back into Halo. Good teamwork is really the only "super weapon". With any CoD, people find glitches, new camping spots and all manner of weapon/perk combos to stay ahead of the pack. It's always changing and if you don't keep up or play with good people, you can fall behind pretty quickly. Plus, you die instantly sometimes over and over again because one guy got dogs, a chopper gunner, etc. Quick deaths in Halo, which does happen (but is rare) are probably a result of playing a team of dudes who know exactly what one another is doing, which I can respect.
Also, vehicles and awesome physics. No other FPS does it better.
December 5th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
Cool posters, they look like a spin-off of the "I can read movies" series that spacesick did a while back. If you like these, you should check out http://spacesick.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-can-read-...
December 6th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
finals end tomorrow and i would like a comic appropriate to celebrating the end of the most hellish school week of my life. thank you in advance for your consideration.
December 6th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
Reach VS. Black OPS:
Pointless Level Ups VS. Obsessive Level Grinding
Zerg Tactic Assholes VS. Cheap Shot Bitches
I'm still waiting for one of them to have an option for a gun that shoots unicorns and gives medals for nut shots
December 7th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
NOW WHERE WILL HARRY FIGHT VOLDEMORT?!
(Also, I'm pretty sure if there's a Bad Company 3, it'll feature Nut Shot awards.)
December 14th, 2010 at 4:43 am
I would be ok with that.