Well, not really, but I bet that got your attention.

You all may remember, some time ago, a story about myself and a journey to the surface that culminated in the ritual burning of some of my once-favorite movie memorabilia. I speak, of course, of the horrific Indiana Jones movie.

And so did last night’s South Park. The boys witnessed their friend, Indiana Jones, raped repeatedly by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. I know what those boys felt. I lived it.

Also, I would like to take a moment and clarify what exactly has been going on between a certain Hedgehog and myself. We are not gay. We’re just… close. And, um, he’s a very fast talker.