For anyone who doesn’t yet know, there is a website named TED that will, in no uncertain terms, make you feel like an idiot.

It’s good to feel stupid, every once a little while. It keeps our thinking minds in check and reminds us that we are, none of us, perfect. Not even us Gremlins.

But it can get a little dismal. For instance, this particular lecture let us know how 24 hour news coverage is absolutely making everyone who watches it more ignorant of the world around them.

The brunt of the message is that humans, especially Americans, know less and less of the world around them if their only source of information is 24 hour network news, or big newspapers, or even blogs (since those tend to rehash information found on the AP Wire.)

How We’re Different

Well, we can’t disclose exactly how many surface correspondents we actively have or where they are serving, since you might want to kidnap them to find the secret entrances to our Lair.
But, we can offer a unique perspective on most human problems, since we’re not burdened with your specie’s subjectivity. We’re not human.

A message to the TED admins

While we have never been asked to participate in the lectures (something about needing to be homo sapien) we do enjoy watching them.

We are available to speak via proxies, and we will gladly send our people to your hallowed venue, full of talking points and James B. Beam.

Please contact the head of our Ministry of Propaganda. He handles all that business.