posted by Paul
03.24.10 @ 2:57 PM
This comic is in response to all the great “boob work” in GoW3. It is truly something to behold. *snicker*
The following is in response to the “You don’t like GoW2?!” stuff I received. Obviously, there will be spoilers.
Examples of why I didn’t love God of War 2:
-Running along those chains to the giant horses, twice. This is a pacing thing. It’s not fun to hold an analog stick in one direction for that long. It’s not. Boo. I remember feeling this sense of tedium throughout GoW2. This might not entirely be the game’s fault. I played the original 3 times. I was probably just burned out.
-The Sister’s of Fate. If I can just rewind time, why don’t I go stop myself from killing my family. Problem solved.
- The whole dying-only-takes-you-to-another-physical-place-that-you-can-leave thing. This is when GoW’s plot started to feel like cheesy comic books.
“Cap is dead!!!”
“Is he?”
“Well, no. But he got a new costume.”
-You don’t actually defeat the last boss in God of War 2. Ares was an amazing fight that ended climactically. Round one of Zeus ends when you accidentally stab someone else. Then you say, (in the voice of Nick Nolte) “Aww hell, Zeus! Now, you come on back here!” Credits roll. See you in 4 years.
Now, these problems might make you say, “Then why do you like God of War 3? All this plot stuff carries over, dickmunch!”
First of all, this game is on the PS3, so the wow-factor has returned as far as the graphics and pacing are concerned. Fighting the titans, although infrequent, is something the other games just didn’t so. It’s spectacular. Second, it’s the “last one” in the series. Everybody is dying, and I get the sense that they are actually dying for good. Although, of course, this is not always true. Somebody always pulls the last gasp attack. Including Zeus. Just fucking die already, dude.
The combat is always good in God of War, which is why I like all of them. God of War 3 has the best combat system and weapons, so it gets the nod as my favorite to play. The first chapter’s story is still the most complete for obvious reasons.
March 24th, 2010 at 11:37 pm
Mmmmmmmm
March 25th, 2010 at 3:26 am
mmmmm
March 25th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
* Spoiler rant*
Found a few more things GOW3 that don't fit.
- No giant gods (GOW1 – Ares was huge, GOW2 – Zeus was huge, GOW3 – The Gods are smaller than you :S )
- I needed pandora's box to kill Ares (GOW1), The Bade of Olympus to kill Athena (GOW2), I need to be pissed to kill every god in GOW3… I know you have the Blade on your person, but it is never in any death animations. What the eff?
- Why should I work to unlock costumes when a) they suck and b) they disable trophies.
- Hope and fear… That shit was just weird.
Best parts, murdering everything, Kevin Sorbo cameo (I thought he was better than Rip Torn in this game), and the fact I a month before the game came out called the Aphrodite Sex mini game. I liked the minigame too, was hilarious, I loved how it made fun of the M rating.
March 25th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
You make many good points, and here's another one – shut up.
With me, I always see the chain-walk as a way to showcase scale, which is what GoW likes to do whenever possible. The first time across them is like "Oh shit!"… Should they have had Kratos go on autopilot over the chains, especially on the second go-round? Perhaps, but I think the point was to say "all this is here in realtime!", which was important to point out back on the PS2. As for the time travel and the temporary death and all that stuff, you're walking a dangerous line there. GoW is FULL of things that will ruin the stories if you bother to hold the bright light of logic to them – GoW3 included. You're nitpicking where there should be none done, and worse yet, your accepting other things that are worse than what you're pointing out.
So shut up and enjoy the damn game, dickmunch. Also – I love you.
March 25th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
You know, you are right. As I was writing this up, I kept realizing how dumb a lot of it is. The point is, it's fun. Also, I'm pretty sure GoW was written in the same manner that Lost is written: by the seat of their pants. If that's the case, you can't really complain about anything other than their methods.
Side note – I have not idea why the format got all funked up with this post. I didn't write it like that.